I read an article by Sumiko Tan in the newspaper recently about ‘New year, new start.’ She wrote, “Entering a relationship requires a leap of faith …” I could relate to her writings and probably that is one of the reasons why I like to read her articles as I often felt the ‘connection.’
I certainly agree with her that entering a relationship requires a leap of faith. And of course, we do not plunge blindly into a relationship. Not plunging blindly, that leads us to the question, “How do we know we have found the right person?” I believe this is one question which many people asked.
I did bungee jump a few years back. Some of my friends said I must be crazy to try it. Maybe I was crazy back then; but I knew it is one of the things which I want to try once in my life. I digressed. Taking bungee jump too requires a leap of faith. However, I did not take the plunge blindly.
From Wikipedia, “Despite the inherent danger of jumping from a great height, several million successful jumps have taken place since 1980. This is attributable to bungee operators rigorously conforming to standards and guidelines governing jumps, such as double checking calculations and fittings for every jump.” I knew that nothing would go wrong; I had faith in the people handling my jump. Some would be worried if their heart can take it. Frankly, that was the last question on my mind, because my natural intuition told me somehow that I could take it. Everything is history now.
While bungee jumping is not for everyone, entering into a relationship can be for everyone – as long as one do not give up on loving. However, like bungee jumping, entering into a relationship requires us to take that leap of faith in another person. Often people would ask, “how do we know we have found the right one?” The answer is, “We wouldn’t know for sure.”
There is no way I can tell you how you would know if you have found the right one. Since we wouldn’t know for sure, we have to take chances to get to know the other person better. While we are ‘exploring,’ we must be on the look out for signs and tune in to our intuition. The signs and our intuition are there to help us to determine if the person is the right one.
Much as we must have faith in our intuition, trusting our intuition may not provide the 100% guarantee that we have found the right one also. Our intuition can help us but it can work against us also. At time, what starts nicely can still end up horribly. The challenge with bad relationship is learning to let go.
When we see the goodness from a relationship but not ignoring the warnings from signs and our intuition, we will be able to take the leap of faith and take the plunge with confidence.
Do you have any past experience where warnings from the signs and your intuition had saved you from a possible relationship that might have ended horribly?
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Such is the paradox of life, the fine lines we walk, and your post touched a nerve…
peace,
mike
livelife365
.-= Mike Foster´s last blog ..A Mere Inconvenience =-.
@ Mike, indeed, such is the paradox of life.
Hi Symphony of Love – sadly I ignored the warnings – fear of not proceeding – a lesson learnt. Since then when they fall apart – it’s a good thing and not meant to be .. I’ve always been independent .. so perhaps over the years life has gone that way and I have been less worried about it when another split happens – I’d rather be happy and single, than with someone & have challenges. One day I hope I meet the right one!!
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..A bet on the Eleven Cities Tour or the Winter Olympics being held? =-.
LOVE, deep love is the best first ingredient in a relationship–any relationship really, but especially a romantic one. Many years before I’d met my husband (The One :o) I was dating a man, who while really good in many ways and we had points in common, I would be physically ill after we’d spent even a short time together. It was only as we were breaking up did I realize there just wasn’t enough love there and this taught me many lessons on not “settling”, there shouldn’t be settling for less between both involved. Luckily, in time, I did find my hubby–so much LOVE there! :o) Happy Week, BK ((HUGS))
@ Hilary, you are not the only one when it comes to ignoring the warnings. Sometimes when we fall head over heels in love with another, it is easy to ignore or pretend not to see the warnings that are coming through. Sometimes when we are comfortable being alone, then it may not be a bad thing also. But love can be very interesting, when we least expect it, it creeps in silently.
@ Tracy, I totally agree with you that deep love is usually the key to all relationships. What you have mentioned is something which I have given some thoughts before. Should we just settle with anyone or should we only settle with someone whom we love deeply. Life is too short to end up with the wrong person. I am happy for you that you have found the one with so much LOVE. Happy Week to you too Tracy. 🙂
I don’t know if there really is a right one or soul mate as so many call them. I have been in several really bad relationships before this one and didn’t listen to my intuition with any of them. I just figure I got lucky with this one.
.-= Jude´s last blog ..Hospital Security For Babies =-.
@ Jude, perhaps the definition of the right one will be different for everyone. What is right for one may not necessary be right for another. I believe you are not alone with the not listening to our intuition. It can be a real challenge to listen to our intuition, especially when we are madly in love with the other person.
I love the idea of a new start a new year but the bungee jump not so much LOL!
.-= Amanda Moore´s last blog ..Musical Monday: More Rain? =-.
What a wonderful topic, and something that’s near and dear to my heart. I have two stories that I’ll share quickly:
1. A BAD-for-ME relationship where I ignored signs, and stayed too long. I probably should have been more insistent on backing out when, within the first three weeks of being involved with the guy, I developed a crushing migraine that was so excruciatingly painful and lasted so long (five straight days), doctors thought I had meningitis. This guy was toxic, but I guess that’s what I craved at the time, because I stuck around for two + years thinking I could help him. I had the worst migraines of my life on and off during our time together. When I finally cut him out of my life, my migraines eased up tremendously.
2. Unconditional love that burst onto the scene a couple years ago between me and a guy I wouldn’t have considered until then. Logically speaking, the two of us shouldn’t have made a good couple. Love isn’t logical, though. Whenever I was around this guy, my heart perked up in my chest, to the point that I thought I could feel it poking out a bit if I placed my hand there. Turns out, against his better judgment, he was experiencing the same thing! (And this was NOT a guy you’d expect to hear that from.)
When we compared notes and both gave in to what our hearts were saying, true love blossomed. It looked nothing like what I imagined, but felt a million times better than anything I had dreamed. That’s when I learned that love — honest & true, unconditional love — is a feeling.
Like you said, though, I’m not sure we can ever know in our minds if someone is right for us. Our hearts, on the other hand, when we’re in-tune with them, can tell a whole other story.
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..Authenticity = New Definitions =-.
@ Amanda, LOL! I understand about the bungee jump. 😀
@ Megan, thank you for sharing you stories with us. It is amazing isn’t it, how our body tries to warn us and to protect us from a bad relationship. There was another commenter above that mentioned when she got together with a guy, she was ill after a short while of getting together and only got better after breaking up. Sometimes, it is hard to believe that our body reacts that way. However, if we listen to it and reflect on the current relationship, we may just realise it.
Yes, the unconditional love is great; where one give unconditionally and without any expectation from each other. It is a rare case where both love unconditionally. Usually it is one side giving more; which can be draining on both parties.
Oh this is so true! I wish I had followed my intuitions when it came to relationships. I always seem to ignore those signs of a bad relationship or just knowing that the person is not exactly what I am looking for and in turn find myself in a dating mess.
.-= Brandy´s last blog ..Family Fun Ideas =-.
Okay, I seriously needed to hear THIS:
When we see the goodness from a relationship but not ignoring the warnings from signs and our intuition, we will be able to take the leap of faith and take the plunge with confidence.
I have been invested in a whirlwind relationship since September. I believed WHOLE HEARTEDLY he WAS The One. And, then some BAD things happened that turned my world upside down.
BUT…. my eyes were opened.
And, THAT led to the path I am on now, and that path INCLUDES taking another LEAP OF FAITH with my EYES OPEN. I have since plunged back into this relationship with a renewed confidence that HE really IS THE ONE.
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Everyone Needs A Little Evelyn! =-.
PS: I don’t think I will ever be BRAVE enough to ever go Bungee Jumping!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Everyone Needs A Little Evelyn! =-.
Ahh, a timeless topic. Lucky for me, I found the right one early on, at college. We’ve been married for 10 years.
As for finding the right one, it’s interesting. Many more arranged marriages last longer than marriages based on love. I think the real challenge begins after you find the right one. How do you stay connected and invested in the relationship? How do you sustain the relationship? It seems to be what trips many couples up.
I did bungee jump before. It was fun and mind-opener 🙂
There were 4 of us. After jumped, we chat and realized all for of us did the same thing before we jump, we looked behind at the operator and said ” I’m scared” And the operator replied “yeah, yeah, all said the same thing, I won’t go down till you jumped”
I broke off from relationship before even we loves each other because we know it won’t work. Life goes on.
.-= VanillaSeven´s last blog ..My Rusty Junkyard =-.
I totally agree with you and couldn’t have said it any better than “When we see the goodness from a relationship but not ignoring the warnings from signs and our intuition” ~ im currently in a situation where my heart or intuition is not positive about this relationship no matter how im trying to push myself to try to make it work. Thanks so much for such a wonderful post and a reminder to me! Have a lovely merry happy week and love to yoU!
.-= jacqueline´s last blog ..teaspoons of tender bond… =-.
@ Brandy, it can be a challenge to take notice of the warning from signs and from our intuition at time, especially when we are madly in love with the person. And we may have the thought that we can change the person. So we just go on and on with the relationship.
@ Meleah, I sincerely hope it will work out great for you this time round. And for the bungee jump, it’s alright; I think it’s not a matter of brave or not. It is more like whether you want to or not. In this case, not everyone want to do something like bungee jumping. 🙂
@ Belinda, glad to hear that you had found the one and were married to him for 10 years already. I totally agree with you that the real challenge begins after you find the right one. Finding the right one is just the first small step. Marriage is the continuous ‘work’ between a couple.
@ VanillaSeven, I agree with you; bungee jump is indeed fun and mind-opening. LOL! As for me, I just remembered what the owner told me, “When you are up there, don’t think too much; just jump.” And of course I did exactly what I was told. When it was my turn, I just stood at the edge and then leaped off the platform.
@ Jacqueline, you are most welcome. If your heart is not positive about your current relationship, you may want to reflect on it. In anyway, I hope that things will work out for you in the end. Have a lovely merry happy week and love to you too.
I love how you compared it to bungee jumping. So true.
I like to think I would bungee jump, but not sure I actually would. How fun that you did! It took me a few failed relationships to learn what I needed and I’m happy that hubs and I went into this with our eyes open – love, respect and not trying to change each other. 🙂
.-= lisaschaos´s last blog ..Truffle anyone? (Macro Monday) =-.
@ Maria, there is similarity in having faith in another person. 🙂
@ Lisa, I totally agree with you that love, respect is important. And of course, not trying to change the other person. 🙂
I have always been one to say that when you have found the one”you just know,” because that is how it was with me with my husband. The more that I have lived, the more I think that for many people they do not “just know.” You need a good sense of intuition, and you need to listen to that intuition. I think that people often ignore what tat voice deep inside themselves is saying when they desperately want to believe that they have found their perfect match.
.-= Tina t´s last blog ..Why Try Speed Dating? =-.
@ Tina, I agree with you that we need a good sense of intuition and a good sense of intuition will work better if we listen to it.
Loving is always a risk. Loving deeply is what brings meaning to life. When you lose someone you love whether to death or other circumstances it is so painful that there are no possible words to describe it.
That is the great paradox: beauty and sadness of life. The beauty to experience and the sadness to lose. Being true to oneself is to always be open to love because without love there truly is no life.
In the end it is worth being courageous and loving. To be able to look back and say I lived, I loved. When I die I want to know that I did not let fear stop me from truly loving.
You have touched on a deep point in this post.
Blessings,
Eren
.-= Eren Mckay´s last blog ..Family bonding activities – insights to help connect deeply =-.
@ Eren, I couldn’t agree more with you that loving itself is risky. But if we choose not to love, then we will be losing a big part in our lives. There is no regret when we truly love another.